If

Posted by on Aug 23, 2011 | 7 comments

If

If my child didn’t have autism, my world would be different.

My children would have furniture in their bedroom and decorations on their walls instead of mattresses on the floor.

My son would nap when  he’s tired instead of pacing and jumping and screaming and encouraging his brother to join in.

We could go out and enjoy the world in the evening instead of having to wrangle exhausted children into bed early.

Mealtimes would be spent enjoying each others company instead of constantly reminding my son to sit in his chair and not lay across it or pace around the kitchen.

We could stay with family when we travel instead of always having to stay in a hotel.  And I wouldn’t be quite so afraid to fly with my children.

We could have a lazy day at home without worrying if the children have had enough physical activity to make it through the day without a breakdown.

We could go to the movies or a show or a concert or a parade without worrying about the sound and light levels.

We could get a babysitter without worrying about his/her welfare.

We wouldn’t have to explain why we can’t always have friends over or why we can’t always make playdates or why we can’t be super flexible all the time.

We wouldn’t have to always explain how autism affects our entire family, not just my son.

We wouldn’t have to explain that my younger children do not have autism, even though sometimes they act just like their big brother in stressful or exciting situations.

We wouldn’t have to wonder if our two neurotypical children will eventually learn to model their peers and not their brother’s erratic behaviour.

I wouldn’t feel like I’m a warrior, in constant battle for my child’s life and my own sanity.

 

If my child didn’t have autism, my world would be different.

I might not have learned to be patient and trust that my child will figure things out.

I might not have appreciated the sheer magic in watching a child acquire language, through any means necessary.

I might not have learned all the valuable tools for learning that I’ve shared with my younger children.

I might not have learned the subtle art of negotiation with a child that allows him to flourish and gain control of his life while still guiding him.

I might have missed the necessity of an afternoon downtime.

I would have never met the community of amazing people it took to lift my child up and put and keep him on his path.

I would never have met the community of amazing people it has taken to lift me up and put and keep me on my path.

I might not have had such a compelling reason to rediscover my joy of writing.

I would never have known about the beauty found in the tiniest details of life around me, as pointed out by my son.

I wouldn’t have the unbelievably amazing child who is my oldest son.  My beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.

 

My beautiful boy.

 

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  • I love you. As always. <3 You capture the truth so well. xo

    •  <3 you, too.  🙂

  • Dluvscoke

    L O V E    this!!!!

  • Thank you for not just listing the positives but only concluding with them. absolutely LOVE this! 

  • I know the warrior feeling.  It’s exhausting.  This is so heartfelt and speaks for so many.  🙂

  • That is so beautiful…..you are one amazing Mum 🙂 Love how you embrace your son and enjoy all that you can with him.

    Cheers
    Lisa

  • Lisa Wood

    Spoken from the heart! I love reading your amazing story about “If” – it was very touching and I so could feel for you – that is one amazing son you have there 🙂

    Cheers
    Lisa